myriam lavoie – process part 265 (berceuse)
First I’d like to say I’m honored to participate in the Modyfier Series. It took me a long time to prepare and finish a song that I wanted to present for this project but here it is finally. Thanks to Rayna for her patience.
When I was first invited to participate in this project I immediately thought it would be a good platform to experiment with the componium, a type of music box I had just bought. The song was mainly built around this instrument. I also used a piece of fantastic gear that was at my disposal: a Moog voyager. I will not describe the technical or logistical aspects of my creation process, as I’m not sure that this is actually interesting or so important here. Creating is something far more subtle, reaching the deeper, unidentifiable zones of our being. These zones are of interest to me and worth thinking about and sharing.
I’ve always been inspired and fascinated by melodies and harmonies and decided to start experimenting with a melody from Bach that I’ve always cherished. From there, I let my conscious and unconscious mind work together to transcend what lives in and around me through music. I search, find, delete, get excited, get down, inspired, take a left, take a right, stay still… it’s a roller coaster of emotions. Creation should be a part of everyone’s lives because it creates a mirror of our inner selves. You deconstruct and construct while deconstructing yourself. I’ve always felt music permits me to achieve a real connection to my interior world and allows for a representation of it. For each and everyone of us, this connection is possible through art, whatever means or form it takes on.
For me the process of creating music is similar to the experience of listening to music: it reminds me of places, smells, people, feelings, emotions and intensities. It brings me to places where nothing else exists. Interestingly, the act of creating also brings me to places of doubt and frustration. Frustration in trying to achieve a perfection that can never be obtained, that feeling that the piece could always be better. This makes it difficult to finish and feel completely fulfilled with the work. It is important to learn to be fulfilled by the small steps of the process, the steps that bring you knowledge and experience and that give you the tools to go further in future projects. It’s hard not to get caught up in the judgments you have towards your creation. You have to let go. This has always been the difficult part for me and why I think creation is so valuable; it permits me to grow. Doubt is part of the process, a sane and important part of it. Creating represents a great exercise for perfectionists like me as you always start with a blank page where everything is possible, there is no limit and there is no room for perfection, this bringing me outside of my comfort zone, forcing me to accept things the way they are. Finishing presents a challenge and is an important step for building confidence. The work is done when you are satisfied with it, even if you don’t necessarily love it but you know the process opened doors for you and it’s time to let go. When letting go magical things eventually happen.